Being Brave
And why I started writing Aging With Courage
I’m not sure when the Medicare mail and phone calls began…maybe in my early 60’s? It seemed like years and years before I was eligible. Eventually, I turned 62…63…64…
I didn’t expect 65 to hit me hard, especially after years of reminders in the mailbox! For the most part, age is just a number to me, and I never sweated any of the “big” birthdays. Sixty-five was different. Medicare is for old people. I’m. Not. Old.
The awareness that I was 65 flipped a switch in me that elicited feelings of grief that my life was over and/or fear that I could no longer live it the way I wanted. To top it all off, shortly after I turned 65, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis.
I was shocked at the diagnosis, especially after I read the contributing factors. I don’t smoke, I haven’t had a drink in 36 years with the help of the recovery community, and I am not a thin woman. In addition, I am a walker and hiker. I was certain the weight-bearing exercise would keep osteoporosis at bay. Not only was I diagnosed, but I have a relatively bad spot in my right femoral neck.
Overnight, I felt old and weak and fragile.
I live in Colorado, and we get snow and ice in the winter (and fall…and spring). I walked to our nearby Walmart one day shortly after the diagnosis and slipped on the ice, falling on a knee rather than the affected hip. I sobbed as people tried to help me up. Whenever I had to walk on or near ice or snow, I took small steps in hopes of staying upright. As my steps got smaller, my life got smaller too. I didn’t leave the house much that winter.
I battled within myself: I’m 65 with osteoporosis…and I love to hike. More fear set in. Since I hike alone, does this mean I shouldn’t hike anymore – what if I fall? The next thought: but I’m ONLY 65…with lots of longevity in my family. I could live another 20 or 30 years.
I realized I didn’t want to live the rest of my life…however long that may be…in fear. I wanted to truly live, not just exist.
I’m more interested in quality than quantity.
I figured I wasn’t the only one.
Because I’m a writer, I wanted to write regularly to inspire older women (like me), and men too (I guess 😉), to be brave! My goal is to encourage and support older adults to live their best life, and to make their last third their best third!
What does it mean to be brave? For some people, getting out of bed instead of isolating is brave. Meeting a new friend is brave. Traveling alone is brave. Trying a new hobby with no guarantee of success is brave.
I’ve had to have some brave talks with my husband. Since we have five billion steps in our house, maybe a medical alert necklace is appropriate when I’m at home alone. What if I fall when he’s on the golf course and my phone is on a different floor? Since I usually hike alone, it also seems appropriate to have a satellite messaging/alert device because there is no cell service in the mountains. I also need to have a brave conversation with my PCP about reasonable precautions based on my various diagnoses and history. I’m not talking about wallowing in old age and feeling sorry for myself. I’m talking about having a clear, realistic picture of my current state of health so that I can live fully…and safely.
Other ways to be brave include: breaking a habit…adding a healthy new routine…saying “no” …not caring what others think…wearing something that makes you feel good (even if it’s not “in style”) …leaving (or starting!) a relationship…setting a boundary. Give yourself credit for all your courageous acts!
Sometimes it helps to start small by taking brave steps toward a goal. Once you conquer that one, the next is easier. Be sure and celebrate that success! It’s important to recognize and own your courage. Some goals may take longer, or require multiple acts of courage, but don’t let that stop you! You’ve proven to yourself that you can take your power back…and you can live the life you want. Be brave and live the life of your dreams! Make your last third your BEST third!